Instructing Our Children

As parents, we try to teach our children our beliefs. However, it seems that they are increasingly rejecting those beliefs. This devotion looks at what advice Solomon gave his son.

Nuggets

  • Worldview logic says if we are given free will, we should use it – not just believe our parents.
  • Parents got listed right after God because He knows how important being a parent is.
  • We get the garland for listening to our parents.

Devotions in the What I Believe series

Devotions in the Family category

Instructing Our Children
Who Is the Greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?

Flowers with title Instructing Our Children

My Ladies were supposed to be studying Proverbs during Sunday Morning Bible Study. The lessons have been built on a parent teaching the child about God and His wisdom.

Wisdom is knowledge, discernment, and good sense that leads to goodness and virtue, which can be applied to life.

So far, Solomon has told us:

  • It isn’t enough to just have the wisdom — head knowledge isn’t enough.
  • Our wisdom has to align with God’s if we are going to flourish in the world.
  • We are righteous because we are free from sin by following God’s moral laws.
  • Wisdom is to be prized above religion.
  • We get to where God wants us to be by using wisdom to reason out what He is wanting us to understand as we seek Him.
  • Only God gives us lasting wealth and righteousness.
  • The results of wisdom are a closer relationship with God.
  • God judge us daily because He hates sin.

I put this lesson in the Family folder when it came up. It is kind of a step backwards chapter wise, but it fits better in a family series than it would have in a wisdom series.

Let's Put It into Context

Family is, according to the Holman Bible Dictionary, “the basic household unit which provides a person’s central relationships, nurture, and support.”

Resource

Ordinances are an expression of the disciples’ obedience. Marriage is an ordinance.

Children, Follow Instructions

“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction, and don’t reject your mother’s teaching” (Prov. 1: 8 CSB)

Ooo, baby. This verse is under attack these days. The worldview tells our kids to question most — if not all — of their parents’ beliefs. Why is that?

It isn’t just because we are given free will. Free will is the ability within us to make decisions, which determine actions that produce character.

It seems like, a lot of times, that is what our kids are told. Worldview logic says if we are given free will, we should use it – not just believe our parents.

The underlying goal, though, is for kids to reject the Christian beliefs of their parents. They don’t want all these things their parents have called sin to remain labeled as sin. They want to be able to do what they want and not face any consequences.

The problem is, however, that they are not just rejecting their parents. They are rejecting God.

God is the One who labels things a sin. Sin is actions by humans that disobey God and break one of His laws and commandments, goes against a purpose He has for us, or follows Satan’s promptings.

Okay, I have to check this out. I read that Arnot wrote, “The first and great commandment is the fear of God, and the second, which is next to it and like to it, is obedience to parents.”

Resource

Let me process. So, what is a Arnot really trying to say? The fear of the Lord means to love and revere God.

Glossary

We know Commandment #1 is “You shall have no other gods before me” (Ex. 20: 3 ESV). But we also know Commandment #2 is “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth” (Ex. 20: 4 ESV). That has nothing to do with parents.

Also, Jesus told us what the greatest commandments are. “And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. ‘Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?’ And he said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself’” (Mt. 22: 35-39 ESV).

That says love others, not obey your parents. So, let’s look at it through the Ten Commandments.

A while back, I gave my Elaine-speak version. Starting at the top until we get to parents, they are

  • Love God first and foremost.
  • Don’t worship anything but Him.
  • Watch how you use His name.
  • Find a community of people who believe like you do and meet with them regularly.
  • Honor your parents.

To read a related devotion, click the button below.

If we look at the top four, they are all about how we show our love to God. We love Him, worship Him, and don’t take His name in vain.

I can see how that can be grouped as one. Then we get to the parents.

Oh, wow. Did you see? Parents got listed right after God. He knows how important being a parent is.

Johnson pointed out that the duties of parents and teachers are analogous. It is the parents’ responsibility to teach their children how to be a person.

Resource

We also have a responsibility to teach children about God. Let’s chase a rabbit a second. Don’t think because we have reached a certain age and are no longer children, we are done learning. We can always learn, no matter what age we are.

Also, family is not just blood. We can adopt anyone into our family. We can teach them, too.

So, don’t think just because you have no children, you aren’t a teacher. Don’t think that just because you are a teenager or younger, you can’t learn.

Back to children listening to their parents. They are not going to get a more loving teacher. No one will understand them like a parent does.

God knows that we need to pass on the lessons we have learned to others. That is how we make the Scriptures real to us. What better place than within the family? That way our family members can really see our faith being lived out.

Bible

Head Coverings and Jewelry?

“for they will be a garland of favor on your head and pendants around your neck” (Prov. 1: 9 CSB)

Hmmm. Interesting.

Kids think that having their own way will be very rewarding. Really, it isn’t. Following Satan’s way leads to chaos and hurt.

A garland was a wreath that was worn on someone’s head. The Holman Bible Dictionary said that “garlands symbolized instruction or the benefit of wisdom.” That is why we see the gods in mythology wearing them.

Resource

We get the garland for listening to our parents???? Isn’t that the exact opposite of what kids think? They think the last thing they would earn was a garland for obeying their parents.

Clarkson listed what obeying parents showed.

  • Humility
  • Their reacting to parents’ love
  • Their acknowledging that wisdom comes with age (and experience)
  • Their acceptance of a natural order.

Resource

Listening to our parents (or our employer or someone else) shows we are willing to acknowledge someone who is over us. We recognize that they have some authority over us.

If we can’t listen to our parents, how are we going to obey God? But that is the premise kids go on, isn’t it? We don’t have to listen to anyone because we can make our own decisions.

Making the Connections

The problem with that is God does have laws and commandments. We break the laws, we suffer the consequences.

God doesn’t want us to just know about the laws and commandments. He wants us to live them.

Why? The laws and commandments show us God’s character. When we obey them, we become like God.

That is the goal. God wants us to be like Him.

How Do We Apply This?

Raising kids is hard. I was reading a devotion today by a fellow blogger, Tabatha, that tells us six tips the Scriptures give us on how to do that.

Resource

I’ve been really lucky. Adam never really rebelled against me. There were other things that we had to deal with, but I didn’t have the problems other parents encounter.

I just asked Adam why that was. After the initial, “I don’t know,” we figured a couple of things out.

Adam knew if I told him something, I was shooting straight with him. I wasn’t lying to get him to act or think a certain way. I was giving him the best instructions that I knew.

Another thing Adam knew was I spoke Adam. I got how he thought through things. I knew the words he used.

I didn’t just say, “I am the Mom. You will …” unless I really had to for a very good reason. I would cringe every time one of his teachers or someone else would go into dictator mode with him.

Oh, yes. I wasn’t a perfect parent. I know I’ve told you about the time I tried to get Adam to eat some chicken nuggets I made — Cajun chicken nuggets. It wasn’t pretty.

My best advice is that we need to establish the relationship with our children. Yes, they have to honor us as parent. Yes, we have to honor them as human beings.

The parent-child relationship is like any other relationship. It will need give and take. It will need patience and forgiveness.

It is worth it.

Father. You have made Yourself our Father. You didn’t need to make us an family when You created us. You wanted us. Even after we disobeyed You, You still wanted us. In fact, as the song says, You didn’t want Heaven without us so You brought Heaven down. Help parents and children to love each other as You do. Give us patience and forgiveness. Most of all, help us teach our children about You so that they may call You Father. Amen.

What a Beautiful Name
Vocalist: Elaine Guthals
Keyboard: Chris Vieth

What do you think?

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