We don’t like change — especially if that change means loosing someone we love. Jesus knew His leaving would be rough on the apostles, but He also knew it would be for their best. This daily devotional explores why giving someone up can be beneficial to us.
Jesus always planned to go back to heaven. His disciples, on the other hand, probably thought there were many more years left for Him to come into His kingdom — here on earth.
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The disciplines were having a hard time letting go. Jesus had already told them He was going to die (Mt. 26: 2). But it hadn’t sunk in yet.
Maybe because Jesus hadn’t had a long illness, they didn’t think it was going to happen. Maybe they didn’t think the Messiah could die. They were definitely in the denial stage.
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It is hard for us to give up a loved one. When you have your heart ripped out of your chest, the pain is unbearable. “Business as usual” is a thing of the past.
Many people fear death. I know I did. For some, it isn’t their death that they fear — it is the death of a loved one that they fear. That was me, too.
Mom’s Story
I guess we were “lucky.” We got a trial run at Mom’s death. She battled cancer for two years but was never able to get ahead of it. She had radiation, two surgeries, and chemo.
If you have had someone who has both had both radiation and chemo, you know that chemo taken after radiation means the person is more nauseated. Because both of her surgeries were in her throat, she couldn’t swallow real well.
One night toward the end of her chemo, she must have gotten nauseated. We think — but don’t know for sure — instead of asking for the nurse’s help, she tried to make it to the bathroom herself.
That didn’t work out so well, because the nurses found Mom under the bed in a coma. It must have started coming up, hit the road construction in her throat, and went down the wrong pipe. She asphyxiated.
The doctors said Mom needed to wake up in 48 hours, or she would be a vegetable. So I started praying.
It had been obvious to us that God was using her illness to touch a lot of people’s hearts and lives. People at her, my sister’s, and my church were touched by Mom’s courage and attitude. Same with people at my sister’s and my workplace.
How could Mom touch people’s hearts if she was with us but not with us? Did that mean she had touched everyone she was supposed to touch?
So, I prayed. I thanked God for Mom’s life and the impact she had made in furthering His kingdom. I thanked Him that she hadn’t felt the effects of the disease — only felt the effects of the treatment.
I prayed that, if Mom had completed His work, He go ahead and take her. I asked that He reward her faithfulness by not making her suffer anymore.
But I had no way of knowing what God’s plan for Mom’s life was. He may have had more people that He wanted her to touch. He may have wanted those she had already touched to be touched more deeply.
His plan for her life may not have been done.
So, I prayed that, if God wasn’t finished with Mom yet, He would wake her up from the coma and she not be a vegetable. I would consider this dress rehearsal for when He chose to call her home.
I told God that I gave Mom back to Him. I would accept whatever His plan was for her life, and any more time she had on this earth would be icing on the cake. It would be bonus.
We got the bonus. It took 72 hours, not 48, but Mom woke up and wasn’t a vegetable. She was able to function and converse.
Other than being put on a feeding tube, Mom was okay — not healed, but okay for then.
The Shadow of Death
That was a scary time. What got me through was I knew that I was in the palm of God’s hand. Isaiah 41: 13 says, “For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you” (NIV). I knew He would never leave me (Heb. 13: 5).
What we experienced could be considered the shadow of death (Ps. 23: 4). Mom’s death came later.
We usually think of a shadow created by something coming between the sun and something else.
Making the Connections
If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. (Jn. 14: 28b NIV)
Let’s look at it this way. We are here. Death is the shadow. God’s plan is the sunlight.
Jesus said, “… If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I” (Jn. 14: 28 NIV). We don’t see losing a loved one as a good thing.
Sometimes, though, it is. Looking back in the 20/20 vision of hindsight, I see how much I have grown because of Mom’s illness and death.
That was one of my defining moments. I was totally focused on my relationship with God.
If we look back and see what we gained by Jesus’ going away, we see the benefits are there. We gained salvation, eternal life, and a Comforter.
“For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God …” (I Pet. 3: 18 ESV). He was the sacrifice that restored the opportunity to have relationships with God.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (Jn. 3: 16 KJV). “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Rom. 6: 23 KJV). Jesus not only provided a one-time payment for the sins of the world, He provided eternal life.
“Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you” (Jn. 16: 7 KJV). “And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever” (Jn. 14: 16 KJV). Because Jesus left the disciples, the Comforter came to guide them through their lives.
How Do We Apply This?
The first part is easy. We redemption from sin, eternal life in His presence, and guidance as we navigate this life when we ABCD. Because Jesus went away, God provided redemption. We just have to accept the gift.
The second part is a little more complex. God knows that we sometimes worry about what we think will be. He is still there to comfort us. He will be there through whatever is.
Death may happen to all, but all of us react differently because we are different people with different experiences. Some things may be the same. That means we can encourage others.
Our loved ones are worth every tear we shed. We loved them. We can’t not acknowledge their exit from our lives. It is okay to cry.
Getting through the “firsts” is only a start – first birthday, first Christmas. The second year, we have to start making new firsts. we start making our new normal.
But many times, we tell ourselves or others tell us that we should just “get over it.” That doesn’t acknowledge we are still in transition. We have to realize there is no timetable on grief.
We have to do what we have to do to get through. No one else can tell us what we need.
Unfortunately, we may have trouble telling them what we need. We may be having trouble stringing two words together, let alone two sentences together. And what we need may change the second after we do get it stated.
If your loved ones have chosen Jesus as their Lord and Savior, they are going to a better place – Heaven. There are days knowing that helps; there are days the missing them hurts too much for that to help. Look to Him for comfort.
Jesus went away. He saw what was on the other side of His death. We just have trust God that the plan He has for the other side of our loved ones’ deaths is for good (Rom. 8: 28).
Father, we feel so alone in our grief. We are not. You are here. You will never leave us. let us rest in You, Father. Amen.
If you have not admitted that your relationship is not right with God,
have not asked Jesus to be your Lord and Savior,
and have not confessed your sins,
please read through the Plan of Salvation and prayerfully consider what God is asking you to do.
What do you think?
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