Paul noted that God structured earthly families to show us the structure of His families. This daily devotional looks at how Paul listed a duty for each of the members of the family to show our relationship to God.
Nuggets
- Wives are to model our relationship with the Lord.
- Fathers, as an example of how this portrays Jesus, are to show love.
- It isn’t enough to just sit there and say we obey – we have to provide evidence to Him.
Devotions in the Joy in the Gospel series
Paul didn’t give a lot of detail here on how God expected the family to operate. He described one duty each for the different members.
Maclaren summed it up by writing, “The wife, child, servant, are to obey; the husband to love, the father to show his love in gentle considerateness, the master to yield his servants their dues.”
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Let’s dig in deeper.
Let's Put It into Context
Here is a running list of what we’ve discussed previously.
A Model for Wives
“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” (Col. 3: 18 CSB)
Wives are to model our relationship with the Lord.
One thing we have to understand — which many people who balk about this passage don’t — is what Paul was telling the Colossians here was a radical way to run the family. The worldview people in Paul’s day did not operate this way.
They operated worse.
Yep, God’s way offers better treatment for the wives.
But this doesn’t make God’s way degrading. Davenport said Eve was not considered Adam’s slave, but helpmate. God holds marriage in high regard.
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Spence felt that Paul was saying that there should not be two heads of the household. He thought the three components of this submission were
- “A sense of dependence.
- “A feeling of deference.
- “A spirit of devotedness.”
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Maclaren said the wife’s submitting shows her love for her husband while keeping true to herself. He acknowledges that the wife can be the stronger character and may have gifts at a higher level than her husband. In that case, it is good for the husband to seek her counsel.
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The wife in this play is to represent the Church. We are submissive to Christ.
We have our free will where we make it our own decision. Free will is the ability within us to make decisions, which determine actions that produce character.
A Model for Husbands
“Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them” (Col. 3: 19 CSB)
Fathers, as an example of how this portrays Jesus, are to show love.
I think Paul was thinking about his letter to the Corinthians here. “Love is patient and kind …” (I Cor. 13: 4 ESV).
Notice, Paul did not say rule here. This was not an instance of subjection to the husband’s mastery.
What is so important about husbands loving their wives? “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (I Pet. 4: 8 ESV).
If the husband is to represent Christ in this play, he needs to be self-sacrificing. He has to show his wife the same love that Jesus gives, love that promotes obedience, not forces it.
Davenport explained what Paul meant by saying, “Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them” (Col. 3: 19 CSB). He cited Plutarch when he wrote, “They who sacrificed at the rites of Juno, took out the gall of the victim, signifying by the ceremony that it was not fit that bile and bitterness should enter into the married state.”
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Both husbands and wives have to recognize neither is perfect they must accept the other’s faults as well as their own.
The Model for Children and Parents
“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they won’t become discouraged” (Col. 3: 20-21 CSB)
It isn’t enough to just sit there and say we obey – we have to provide evidence to Him.
I had these two verses in separate sections but then put them back together. I can see it both ways.
We normally think about children obeying their parents. But what if the children become believers while the parents don’t? The parents might want them to break one of God’s laws and commandments. What happens then?
Daille reminded us that there is no gender qualification when it talks about children. This is addressed, as referred to in Paul’s day, to both the “weaker” daughters and the “stronger” sons.
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This doesn’t mean children can just ignore their parents. If they can’t follow their parents, who they can see, how are they going to follow a God that they can’t?
Noel said it is the children’s duty and in their self interest to obey. Adams noted that children are to revere, obey, respect, and submit to their parents.
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Maclaren said that there are reciprocal duties between parents and children. Remember, in passages like this, father means parents. Maclaren does make an argument that it is meant more for fathers than mothers in this instance.
Paul’s point here is that the parental relationship is based on love. Obedience takes a back seat to love.
I don’t know what year Maclaren wrote his piece, but his reason on why parents lack leadership over their children is applicable to today. He wrote, “Children are better educated than their parents, and a sense of inferiority often makes a parent hesitate to command, as well as a misplaced tenderness makes him hesitate to forbid.”
What Paul was talking about here was abuse of parental authority. Parents exasperate their children, according to Maclaren, “by unreasonable commands, by capricious jerks at the bridle alternating with capricious dropping of the reins altogether, ungovernable tempers, frequent rebukes and sparing praise.
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The result of parental abuse is exasperation.
Making the Connections
I though Maclaren made an interesting observation. He wrote, “The young are to remember that the nobleness and heart repose of their whole lives may be made or marred by marriage, and to take heed where they fix their affections.”
I have been marred for life by a bad marriage. As much as I have tried to heal over the past decade, I have come to see how broken I still am.
Luckily, Maclaren went on. He wrote, “If a man and woman love and marry in the Lord, He will be in the midst, a third who will make them one, and that threefold cord will not be quickly broken.”
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The Lord has brought me a new love and partner. God is not just in our midst, but we can see Him obviously pulling the strings.
I haven’t talked much about it, but I told you I had met someone. This weekend, Steve asked me to marry him, and I said yes.
We will make it a threefold cord in April when Steve, Adam, and I officially become a family.
How Do We Apply This?
- In order to be good parents, we need to be able to follow God’s rule.
- We need to acknowledge that disobedience is a sin.
- Our families must be built on love.
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The family is an important unit to God. He uses it as an example of His family — of which believers are a part.
Father God. You know that we need to see things to learn of them. Because of that, You modeled the family after Your family. Help us to recognize our role in Your kingdom. You have placed us in a position of love. May we love You. Amen.
What do you think?
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