Respect from the Cross

What was Mary’s relationship with Jesus at the end of His life? The third saying from the cross had to do with Mary. This devotion looks at what Jesus had to say to His mother and one of His disciples.

Nuggets

  • Jesus never called Mary mother but always woman.
  • Neither did Jesus neglect His responsibility to Mary nor did He elevate her position.
  • Mary and John had a comparable level of faith.

Devotions in the Sayings from the Cross series

Flowers with title Respect from the Cross

If this series was divided into sections, this would be the concern for others section. Think about it. Jesus prayed for His enemies. He performed His duties as High Priest for His cross mate, and now He was taking care of His mother.

I was sitting here thinking about what to say about Mary. She only appears a couple of times in the Scriptures.

Let's Put It into Context

“But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart” (Lk. 2: 19 ESV)

We first meet Mary as a scared teenager who has a very unique visit. The angel Gabriel had come to tell her that she was going to be the mother of God’s Son.

Right from the get-go, we see Mary as faithful and contemplative.

Something that just struck me is that we never really see Mary alone. She is always with Joseph, Elizabeth, Jesus, her other kids, or even the caravan. She is always with the group, never the leader.

That is logical. We think of Mary as an introvert. She hid words in her heart for later contemplation (Lk. 2: 19, 52).

Still Standing

“Standing near the cross were Jesus’ mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary (the wife of Clopas), and Mary Magdalene” (Jn. 19: 25 NLT)

It would be interesting to know what was going through Mary’s mind as she stood at the foot of the cross. A safe bet would be that she was still pondering things in her heart.

  • “Now listen: You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give him the throne of his father David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and his kingdom will have no end” (Lk. 1: 31-33 CSB).
  • “They [the shepherds] hurried off and found both Mary and Joseph, and the baby who was lying in the manger” (Lk. 2: 16 CSB).
  • “Then Simeon blessed them and told his mother Mary: ‘Indeed, this child is destined to cause the fall and rise of many in Israel and to be a sign that will be opposed — and a sword will pierce your own soul — that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed’” (Lk. 2: 34-35).
  • “Entering the house, they [the wise men] saw the child with Mary his mother, and falling to their knees, they worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts: gold, frankincense, and myrrh” (Mt. 2: 11 CSB).
  • “When the wine ran out, Jesus’s mother told him, ‘They don’t have any wine.’ ‘What does that have to do with you and me, woman?’ Jesus asked. ‘My hour has not yet come’” (Jn. 2: 3-4 CSB).
  • “‘Why were you searching for me?’ he asked. ‘Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?’” (Lk. 2: 49 CSB).
  • “A crowd was sitting around him and told him, ‘Look, your mother, your brothers, and your sisters are outside asking for you.’ He replied to them, ‘Who are my mother and my brothers?’” (Mk. 3: 32-33).

Oh, yes. Mary would have been doing a roll call of conversations. That was her character.

One thing I hadn’t noticed was Jesus never called Mary mother. He always called her woman.

I wonder if that was because Jesus knew He couldn’t just be Mary’s son. That was always overshadowed (I don’t know if that is the right word) by being Savior.

Perrowne talked about a perceived distancing of Jesus in His relationships with others. True, Jesus always has the about-my-Father’s-business attitude, but I don’t see Him being any different than any of us. He had to experience things as did. That meant close relationships.

You know Jesus respected Mary as His mother. It is a commandment. “Honor your father and your mother so that you may have a long life in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Ex. 20: 12 CSB). Since Jesus did not sin, He kept this commandment.

Goulburn noted that a son’s love for his mother included an aspect of “… reverence, honour, and gratitude.” Jesus did show Mary honor — even though He was God the Son and she was just plain ol’ Mary.

We were told how Jesus lived that out. “Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was obedient to them” (Lk. 2: 51 CSB).

I know. We read those verses and see that Jesus refused to see Mary when she and His brothers came to see Him. We start thinking that their relationship was fractured.

I think “… Who are my mother and my brothers?” (Mk. 3: 33 CSB) is just a soundbite that can be misconstrued today.

Think of it this way. “Do not have other gods besides me” (Ex 20: 3 CSB). We can — and do — define god a bunch of different ways: money, reputation, status, relationships…….

I know my job as mom to Adam is to help him grow so he can be self-supporting — and that had a multitude of components, not just monetary. I’ve mentioned a couple of times that there are circumstances that make that a little more challenging than normal. But that is still the goal to which we work.

Mary’s goal was to raise Jesus so He could be self-supporting. His self-supporting, though, was all tied up in His ministry.

Once Jesus had left the nest, He had the responsibility to set His priorities. He did — the way God wanted.

  • God
  • Spouse
  • Children
  • Parents
  • Extended family
  • Brothers and sisters in Christ
  • Rest of the world

Mary had always known that Jesus’ mission was the most important thing. She accepted that — except the one time when the family presumed that they should have been given access to Jesus.

I think, all in all, Mary did exactly what was asked of her. Her faith in Jesus and what He was called to do is evident in the pages of the Scriptures.

It had to have been a difficult job at times. This struggle would have been intensified if Mary did become a widow as believed.

I think Jesus had a special spot for Mary in His heart.

I think Mary had a special spot for Jesus in her heart. It would have to take a powerful love to stand there at the foot of the cross and witness that.

mother and son

Stand there, Mary did. It doesn’t really say, but I bet she was there from beginning to end.

Only four of Jesus’ followers were named at being at the cross — and the majority of them women. Mary would not have wanted Jesus to feel alone.

Jay made the comment that we really don’t know how much we can take until God calls us to take it. I think that is so true.

Usually, we think, “Oh, I can’t do that.” No, we can’t.

But God is doing it with us. He is all-powerful, so He can withstand anything — and hold us in the palm of His hand while He is doing it.

Replacement Son

“When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, ‘Dear woman, here is your son’” (Jn. 19: 26 NLT)

Okay, Jesus had four other brothers. But He was big Brother. He took His responsibilities seriously.

Think of it this way. Jesus was dying. He was doing big time pain management — and probably not succeeding.

I doubt Jesus looked out at the crows and said, “Oh, look who showed up. I have to do something about that.”

It would probably be a safe bet that Jesus had already prayed about it. He’s already prayed for the disciples and their provision after His exit. So, I think He would pray for Mom, too.

Jesus didn’t neglect His responsibility to Mary — even in His pain. But neither did He elevate her position. She went from being His mother to being John’s mother.

Why didn’t Jesus make provisions with one of His brothers to support Mary? Perrowne noted that, with John, Jesus “… gave her a heart that could best understand her own.” Remember, none of His brothers were believers. Mary had a strong faith. He provided for her with another believer.

Mudge made an interesting observation. He believed that John’s mother was one of the women at the cross.

Hmmm. It didn’t appear that John’s mother had any problem with her son getting adopted or him adopting another mother. If she was like my mother, she knew that we need to be there for each other.

To read a related devotion, click the button below.

Second Mom

“And he said to this disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ And from then on this disciple took her into his home” (Jn. 19: 27 NLT)

We know by reading between the lines that the disciple being discussed is John. “When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple he loved standing there …” (Jn. 19: 26 CSB).

“The disciple He loved” was John’s code name. Beddome stated that John earned this code name because Jesus grew to love him as a friend as well as a disciple.

I don’t think that is it. “I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me” (Jn. 15: 15 NLT). I think Peter was a special friend, also.

The closer explanation, I think, was given by Perrowne. He wrote, “She could be no more His mother, but He gave her another son, who of all His disciples was most like Himself.”

If we just look at the gospel John wrote, it is of a different level than Matthew, Mark, and Luke. Those are more history lessons. John’s gospel is more contemplative – like Mary. Mary and John had a comparable level of faith.

John was the only disciple to risk showing up at the crucifixion. Most had scattered after the Garden of Gethsemane; the rest, some time during it after the trials.

It is believed that John did take this assignment from Jesus to heart. It is said that Mary stayed in his home until her death (Thomas).

Making the Connections

Jesus is in intense pain, feeling His life leave His body, and He is concerned about Mary. That is love.

But that was Jesus’ ministry, also. He came for us — all of us. Not just His immediate family. Not for His friends. Not even just for the Jews.

Jesus is the Savior of the world.

Cross and world

How Do We Apply This?

Would we have Mary’s strength! Her faith was strong enough to face whatever she had to face.

Yes, we all could use some more strength these days.

Think about it a second. Was it strange for her to be at the foot of the cross? This is the teenage girl that, I am sure, had to live through the gossip when she got pregnant out of wedlock.

I don’t see her hiding in her kitchen now.

So, how can we do these this week?

  • Strengthen our faith?
  • Increase our courage to stand?
  • Show our love for others?
  • Keep the bonds of family in this time of social distancing?

Father. Thank You for making us Your children. Thank You for making us families. Amen.

What do you think?

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