Blog

I have been thinking a lot about faith and fear lately. Particularly fear. I know it may sound odd for a pastor to admit this, but I struggle with fear a lot. I always have. 

Ever since I was very little, I can remember being afraid of just about everything. I have gone through most of my life feeling it. 

Oh, I’ve been able to function reasonably well despite it, but I have regrettably made a lot of decisions in my life, because I was afraid. I have allowed it to control my life in ways that most people cannot even imagine. 

I think people struggle with fear more than we want to admit, especially if we are Christians.

You see, the Bible tells us in II Timothy 1: 7 “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (ESV). The obvious question here is, if God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear, then from where does it come? 

Satan is the obvious answer. So as a Christian dealing with fear, to admit that you do can be tantamount to admitting you are someone who doesn’t have faith… you’re not able to really be a Christian, because you cannot withstand the onslaughts of the devil.

While this is often how I have felt throughout my life, there is something to the fact that I’ve experienced this my whole life.

Now, well into my mid-life years and having been a pastor off and on for years, I’ve come to realize that the devil will not try to trip you up with things to which you are not susceptible.  No, he’s going to hit you where you are weak, because that’s where he can do the most damage!

Why would he do that?  Well, if he can keep you “ducking and covering” from your weaknesses, he can keep you from serving God in the way that God wants you to.

When we have our mind focused on when we are going to get hit with something next, we sure aren’t keeping our mind focused on Jesus and what He has for us.

I’ve often questioned my faith because of dealing with fear so much, because “good Christians” are people of faith and living in fear is not living in faith.

My self-loathing about all that came to a halt one day, however, when I found what the Apostle Paul wrote:  He said, “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (II Cor. 12: 10 ESV).

I read that another time or two, and I thought to myself, “But Paul, you were the Christian’s Christian!  No one was more in touch with God’s call on your life than you!  You dealt weaknesses?  Really?”

What stuck out at me the most here, is him saying “For the sake of Christ …”  He was content with dealing with all those things, weaknesses among them, for the sake of Christ!
The fact of the matter is, we are ALL dealing with something that keeps coming back to trip us up.

Whether it is fear, anger, lust, or any number of other sins, we are often constantly fighting against them.  It’s part of living in this sin-fallen body and sin-fallen world.

Now, lest I be misunderstood, I’m not saying that we should just ignore these things and not worry about having to deal with them.  What I am saying is, we must cast our cares upon God.

As the Apostle Peter wrote, “casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you”  (I Pet. 5: 7 ESV). I love how the English Standard Versiom translates this verse, because anxieties are very descriptive of what I have dealt with. 

We must understand that there will be certain things we will have to deal with our entire lives, so we must get into the habit of casting those anxieties, cares, etc. on God.  It’s the only way we can manage. 

I like the image of “casting” those things we are dealing with too, because casting is throwing.  And in my opinion, we need to chuck those things as far away from us as we can. The reason being, they are likely going to be coming back.

When we deal with things like this repetitively, it’s very easy to give into hopelessness and any thing else that will keep us down and out. We aren’t able to function because we think we are not worthy of the Lord because we are dealing with things that seemingly are not of faith.
I get that.

Most of my church background in my younger adult years was from a place that seemed to operate in an atmosphere of “super-faith” and if you weren’t flexing your faith-muscles, then there was something wrong with you.

I am a strong believer in faith, and the Bible tells us that without faith it is impossible to please God.  What I question is, how much faith does it take to be pleasing to God? 

Not that I’m looking to find the line of where the barely acceptable minimum is and that’s my goal.  No, what I’m saying is, if you are struggling with things that are a stumbling block, but you get up and go to work, take care of your kids, and meet your other responsibilities, is that not walking in faith?  When you’d rather just quit, but you go on; is that not faith?

The Bible says, “For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned”  (Rom. 12: 3 ESV).

For those who have the Super-Faith muscle that you take great pride in, that’s great, but let’s think about that a little more closely. God has given each of a measure of faith.

Jesus also said, “And the Lord said, ‘If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, “Be uprooted and planted in the sea,” and it would obey you’” (Lk. 17: 6 ESV).

We’ve all heard the sermon about this verse, and we’ve all seen how small a mustard seed is.  We’ve all heard it taught about what great things a little faith can do. 

Have you ever heard it taught in the context that if you’re feeling afraid and not sure if you should step out or not, but if you do anyway with just a little bit of faith, God will do great things in you too?  I know I sure haven’t.

I know there are many places in the Gospels where Jesus chastised the disciples for having little faith. My question is, was that little faith smaller than a mustard seed of faith or was it because He was trying to get the disciples to be able to see His greatness and be willing to follow Him?

I am aware of those who would say you should have more faith than that. That’s quite probably true, but what about those who don’t have it right now?  Are they left to feel small, insignificant and like less of a Christian because they don’t fit your Pharisaical idea of what faith is? 

Or do we love them right where they are and walk beside them until they can get to where God needs them to be?

As someone who has always struggled with fear, but still have managed to follow God’s will for my life, I will gladly, and willingly, turn back to my brothers and sisters in Christ and help them along the path to unbending faith.  I will not think less of them for being right where they are in Christ.

Father, help us to not be afraid of being afraid.  Help us to work through what we are feeling and know that you love us right where we are, but love us too much let us stay that way. Amen.