How to Be a Bridesmaid

But the other five were wise enough to take along extra oil.
Matthew 25: 4 (NLT)

The second story that Jesus told about the end times was the Parable of the Ten Bridesmaids. Regardless of our gender, this parable still has relevance to society today. This devotion looks at the similarities and the difference between the wise bridesmaids and the foolish bridesmaids.

Nuggets

  • The bridesmaids, younger friends of the bride and groom, represent professing Christians.
  • The bridesmaids did not maintain and grow their relationship with God after conversion.
  • When the bridesmaids started knocking on the closed door, the groom told them that he didn’t know them, but he did not tell them to depart.

To read devotions in the Stories About the End Times series, click the appropriate button below.

Flowers with title How to Be a Bridesmaid

The Parable of the Ten Bridesmaids has long been a favorite to many of Jesus’ disciples. It is another story that Jesus used to explain difficult concepts about the end times.

Let's Put It into Context

A prop of the story is the lamps that the bridesmaid carry. A commentary described the elaborate and elegant lamps used in Jesus’ day.

The covering supported a hole through which the oil could be poured. There was another opening through which the wick could be placed. The handle made the lamps portable, which allowed them to be carried from room to room. Accompanying the lamp would be a flask or jar of oil for when the oil needed to be replenished (Van Lennep).

Several commentaries described the wedding procession. It sounds like there was a mini parade when the groom traveled to the bride’s house. There could be music, torches, and laughter accompanying him.

The groom and his friends would go through several streets. When the groom got to the street where the bride’s house was, the bridesmaids were to let everyone know of his sighting. (Narrative of a Mission of Inquiry to the Jews.)

The groom would pick up the bride and bring her to the house where they would have their wedding night. The bridesmaids would also be there to greet the bride and groom. They would wait with their lamps until they heard from a messenger dispatched by the groom to tell the bridesmaids when they were almost there (Narrative of a Mission of Inquiry to the Jews).

The Groom Is Coming

“Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be like ten bridesmaids who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom” (Mt. 25: 1 NLT).

There are ten bridesmaids in the parable because that was the number of perfection. For example, ten were needed to form a new synagogue.

But don’t get hung up on the number. There are going to be more than ten of us in heaven.

The bridesmaids were called virgins because they are younger friends of the bride and groom. They, too, might be betrothed, but they were no married yet. Hence, the term virgins.

The ladies represent professing Christians. Jesus is not talking about unbelievers here. (I know I missed that little tidbit for a long time.) He is talking about ABCed people here.

The ABCs of Salvation

A – admit our sins

B – believe His Son Jesus is our Redeemer

C – confess God as Sovereign Lord

If you have not become a believer in Christ, please read through the Plan of Salvation and prayerfully consider what God is asking you to do.

Yes, Jesus used women as the example, but He is not just talking to women here. He is talking to His entire church.

Why would Jesus use virgins as an example to represent the church? Virgins were expected to possess a good character and conduct themselves morally. So is the church.

The bridesmaids had one job: to watch for the bridegroom. They were to rejoice and go out to meet him when he came.

I hadn’t really thought about it before, but the bridesmaids are considered a group. We are not given the ladies’ names. Nothing distinguishes them – until we are told is that there are five wise and five foolish.

Really, there is only one difference between the wise and the foolish. That is, did they bring extra oil?

They are all professing Christians. They are on the same mission – waiting or the groom – so they are dressed the same. They have the same lamps with enough oil for them to run at least a little while.

Unfortunately, the groom doesn’t get there are an optimal hour. We aren’t told the reason for the delay, just that there was one. He must not have lived in the same town.

Even as excited as the bridesmaids were to get the party started, the groom just stayed away too long. They all fell asleep. Yep, even the wise bridesmaids fell asleep.

So, there were no differences between the two groups that could easily be seen. The only difference was the amount – and lack thereof – of oil by half of them.

That is a pretty important element, isn’t it? If you don’t have oil, you can’t light the wick. If the wick isn’t lit, you don’t have light. If you don’t have light, you have a useless lamp.

One of the points Jesus was trying to make was that you couldn’t tell the difference between the two groups from the outside. They all identified as bridesmaids – until this huge difference became evident.

Half of the group were not prepared. They didn’t have extra oil when the oil that they had ran out. Who know? Maybe they didn’t expect the groom to take so long. Maybe they expected someone else to just supply it to them.

Caught Empty Handed

“But the others replied, ‘We don’t have enough for all of us. Go to a shop and buy some for yourselves” (Mt. 25: 9 NLT).

The bridegroom shows up with a shout. That was probably a good thing, since everyone was sleeping. Now, the difference becomes obvious.

The difference showed itself when the bridesmaids were trimming their lamps. We don’t have to do this anymore, but they were doing maintenance on the wick and lamp. They were getting all the old ash out of it and cutting off the charred wick. They were refilling it with oil.

Oops.

Don’t you just love the foolish bridesmaids? They immediately took responsibility for the errors of their ways. “Yes, Mr. Groom. We messed up. We were unprepared to meet you. Please forgive us.”

That didn’t happen.

Instead, the foolish bridesmaids wanted the wise bridesmaids to share. (Isn’t that how it is sometimes? Willful disobedience. Willful disobedience. Willful disobedience. Punishment. Whine. Entitlement sometimes. Always expectation that they will get out of punishment.)

It always slays me that the wise bridesmaids say, “Well, go buy some.” And the foolish bridesmaids go!

Where did they think they are headed? Walmart? What is going to be open at midnight in first-century Israel?

Eternal Consequences

“Later, when the other five bridesmaids returned, they stood outside, calling, ‘Lord! Lord! Open the door for us!’” (Mt. 25 11 NLT)

I think a lot of times we focus on those that didn’t get in. We just spent five verses documenting the screw up by the foolish bridesmaids.

We forget about the ones that did get inside. The five wise bridesmaids were rewarded.

When I read the part about shutting the door, my mind kept going back to Noah. The people laughed at Noah for building an ark – until the rains came. Instead of “Give us some of your oil,” it was, “let us on board.”

But God had shut the door on the ark (Gen. 7: 16). God will shut this door, too. He will lock it and throw away the key. After the door is shut, no one is coming in or out.

But, wait! Here come the foolish bridesmaids again. (See, I told you they thought they were entitled.) We don’t know if they were successful at buying the oil, but at that point, it didn’t matter one way or the other.

The bridesmaids hit this barrier. The door was shut. The groom just yells out at them, “But I don’t know you.” Why are they so adamant that they want inside? The groom gave the only response that he could.

 

Making the Connections

Let’s go over the cast first. Jesus is the Groom. The church is the bridesmaids (nope, not the bride). The bride is the bond formed by faith. Grace is the oil.

Looking from the outside, we would say that the foolish bridesmaids were believers. They probably were. The problem was they were not disciples of Jesus.

So, Jesus responded as He had said He would. “aNot every one who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you evildoers’” (Mt. 7: 21-23 RSV).

But there is one big difference here. Jesus does not say, “… depart from me …” (Mt. 7: 23 RSV). The foolish bridesmaid still made a profession of faith. They were not living it out and growing in grace and knowledge. (II Pet. 3: 18).

Just making a profession of faith is not enough. You can’t do the ABCs unless you are going to change your lifestyle to include Jesus as your personal Savior.

How Do We Apply This?

“So you, too, must keep watch! For you do not know the day or hour of my return” (Mt. 25: 13 NLT).

Do you want a list?

  • Remain awake and watchful
  • Stay ready for His coming
  • Do the work you are supposed to do
  • Make sure you maintain your candle (prayer, study)
  • Persevere in grace

Should we be striving toward perfection? Yes. Are we going to achieve perfection? No.

When we mess up – and we will – we need to ask God to forgive us. He will.

Loving Father. Lord, we don’t want to be a foolish bridesmaid. We want to hear “… Well done, my good and faithful servant …” (Mt. 21: 21 NLT). Help us strive to be an inward disciple, not just an outward believer. Amen.

Related Links

Van Lennep and Narrative of a Mission of Inquiry to the Jews were both pulled from https://biblehub.com/commentaries/illustrator/matthew/25.htm

What do you think?

Leave me a comment below (about this or anything else) or head over to my Facebook group for some interactive discussion.

If you don’t understand something and would like further clarification, please contact me.

If you have not signed up for the email daily or weekly providing the link to the devotions and the newsletter, do so below.

If God has used this devotion to speak with you, consider sharing it on social media.

This Post Has One Comment

Leave a Reply