How Should We Teach Our Kids to Be Kind?

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant.
I Corinthians 13: 4 (ESV)
Scripture: Luke 10: 30-37

As parents, we have a special opportunity to train our children to be the people God wants us to be. One way is to teach our children to be kind to others. This devotion looks at to whom we are to be kind.

Cliff Notes

  • Kindness is one of the fruits of the Spirit.
  • God doesn’t make distinctions in people, so He doesn’t want us to, either.
  • There will always be someone better off and worse off than us.
  • While God wants us to grow, He wants us also to be content where we are.
Flowers with title How Should We Teach Our Kids to Be Kind?

Have you seen the Facebook meme with the writing on the school wall? It says:

Some kids are smarter than you.
Some kids have cooler clothes than you.
Some kids are better at sports than you.
It doesn’t matter.
You have your thing too.
Be the kid that can get along.
Be the kid who is generous.
Be the kid who is happy for other people.
Be the kid who does the right thing.
Be the nice kid.

I put a comment on it: “On the opposite wall, they need some kids are not smarter than you, does not have cooler clothes, is not better than you are sports. Be the nice kid.”

Someone responded to my comment: “That would defeat the message. It’s glorifying ‘being nice’ already. It makes them want to be that kid.”

Is it me? Am I the only one who sees problems with that?

What I See the Original Message Saying

Yes, I see the intent of the original message. What others possess that you don’t doesn’t define you. You have your own strengths. You are exactly the way God created you — and God doesn’t make junk.

I understand this message was meant to help increase kids’ self-esteem. Low self-esteem is a real problem. I know. I have battled it.

I also get that our actions shouldn’t be based on others. We should be kind regardless of what others do or have.

The Problem I Have with That

The problem I have with that is it only deals with what the world focuses on, which is half of the story. To me, the message promotes the worldview.

The society we live in today focuses on success. That success is defined by the job that you have, the clothes that you wear, and the car that you drive.

We’ve probably all heard the saying, “Keeping up with the Jones.” That means, if the neighbor has a Cadillac, we shouldn’t be satisfied with our Buick.

I see this message as focusing our kindness on those that we want to emulate. I am not saying it is a bad thing. I am saying it is not the whole thing.

The Problem I Have with the Response

The response I got back is that, my suggestion would defeat the purpose. Kids should want to be this message kid.

The problem I have with that is it only focuses on those that are better than you. I agree that we should be happy for those who have more than us.

The response made it sound like kids shouldn’t want to be the kids that are kind to those less fortunate than they. Excuse me!?!

One person said that she saw I my point. She thought I was saying that the kids with more should not be arrogant.

What I was saying was more than that. What I was saying was we — and our kids — are always going to run into people that are better off than us — and worse off than us. I want Adam to be as generous — if not more — with the kids who have less than he is with the kids who have more.

What Does This Mean?

Kindness is one of the fruits of the Spirit (Gal. 5: 22-23). Kindness should be a product of our belief in God.

Heart with Fruits of the Spirit

Proverbs expanded on that: “A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself” (11:17 ESV). Kindness benefits us as we not only get the rewards of helping others, but also God will reward us for doing His Will. Being less than kind is not the type of people He wants us to be.

God, though, doesn’t want us to make distinctions in people. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3: 28 ESV). He sees each one of us as equal. That is what He calls us to do.

Let’s look at it this way. Jesus said, “… You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10: 27 ESV). This kicked off the Parable of the Good Samaritan.

The moral of the parable is that we have to practice what we preach. If we love God, we have to love those that He loves. We show our love for Him by sincerely loving others.

In a way, to me, the message in the wall patterns itself after the lawyer’s way of thinking. To him, Gentiles were not his neighbors. The “Jews” in the wall message could be see as those who have.

We don’t want to even remotely give our children the impression that those that have less than us are not our neighbors. Clearly, Jesus taught us differently.

We don’t want to even remotely give our children the impression that those that have less than us are not our neighbors. Clearly, Jesus taught us differently.

How Do We Apply This?

We have to work on our kindness to all. “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience” (Col. 3: 12 ESV). In this example, the compassionate hearts and kindness go hand in hand.

God wants us to treat each person we come into contact with as our neighbor. “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor” (Rom. 12: 10 ESV). If we keep reminding ourselves of that, our actions will follow suit.

We shouldn’t be kind because of what we expect to get out of it. Still, our kindness will be rewarded. “One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered” (Prov. 11: 24-25 ESV). God calls us to be blessings to others, thereby receiving our blessings.

Even though God wants us to grow, He wants us to be content the way we are. “I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little” (Phil. 4: 12 NLT). That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive to be better. It means be thankful for what God has given us.

I am just concerned that this follows the worldview that is prevalent today. “You have to tolerate my opinions, but I don’t have to tolerate yours.” I see a lot of tolerance without the kindness.

God calls us to be kind to all. We need to follow Jesus’ example.

Loving Father. Your love for us is limitless. We are equal in Your eyes. Help us to follow Jesus’ example and be kind to all — not just to those we aspire to be or we think can help us get there. Amen.

What do you think? Am I off base on this, or do you see it the same way?

Leave me a comment below (about this or anything else) or head over to my Facebook group for some interactive discussion.

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